Updated: Jan 13, 2020
Whether it's a spouse who was unfaithful, a parent who let you down as a child, or a friend who shared something told in confidence, we all must face the question of whether and how to forgive.
After you are wronged and the initial wave of emotion has passed, you're presented with a new challenge: Do you forgive the person? By forgiving, you let go of your grievances and judgments and allow yourself to heal. While this may sound good in theory, in practice forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible. Believe me, I understand how hard it can be to dig deep to forgive another person because I was physically abused by my brother when I was a teenager.
In fact, I nearly lost my life in his hands.
To learn how to forgive, you must first learn what forgiveness is not and why you need to understand that forgiving someone is not pardoning the other person's actions or words, it is actually the best gift you can gift to yourself.
Back to the challenge: How do you forgive others to regain happiness in your heart?
The good news is, it is possible. There are 3 useful tips that has helped me greatly in life to forgive others that has wronged me or hurt me in anyway. Today I'd like to share those tips with you because your happiness and peace truly does matter to me.
Learning through video is more your thing? No problem. Then check out the video below.
#1 SELF-SABOTAGE OR REVENGE?
Your mind and heart can only take in and focus on so much.
Where focus goes, energy flows.
- Tony Robbins
If you focus on anger, you'll only worsen the pain and poison in your heart. But if you focus on building your life, looking forwards and upwards, then that's exactly what you'll manifest more of in your life.
Remember, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. Neither does it make that person's actions or words towards you justifiable or acceptable. But, what it does is, it frees you of holding the other person accountable and make you lose sight of building your own life.
Do you realize that holding on to anger, does not hurt the other person at all? It is merely self-sabotage.
On the contrary, you being happy and having success is the best "revenge".
#2 KINDNESS IS THE CURE FOR PAIN
Whenever someone has been mean to you, don't jump to the first conclusion that that person is evil. One of the values of life I've learned from my baby is that no one is born evil. We are all a result of our experiences, what we were taught to believe in society, and how to think in any situation. What this means is, that is the reason why we're all different and why we have differences in beliefs and perspectives, which can lead to anger, arguments, and pain.
If you believe that a person didn't know better, then try to give the benefit of the doubt, empathy and compassion first before concluding. By doing so, you create room for understanding, positive change, and love.
If after giving empathy and understanding but the other person has made an active, conscious choice to hurt you, refuse to acknowledge their hurtful actions, then simply thank the person for any good they have done for you (if any), and move on in life without them. That's it.
Don't carry baggage that weighs you down negatively, baggage which would hurt your future chapters of your life that could actually turn out to be super magical if you choose to welcome happiness into your life.
Why stain your beautiful future with pain from the past?
Believe it or not, I do. I believe in bad and good karma. You always get back what you give. Sooner or later. Always.
So if someone has hurt you, they have unknowingly asked for what they will receive in the future. If you wish that person ill, then you too are only inviting bad karma and energy into your life.
Either be impartial or better yet - focus on thinking about all the good you will do for others and all the joy you can give to others. This way you are welcoming more positive karma into your life.
Once you’ve watched the video or read through this article, I’d love to hear from you.
What steps have you taken to help you forgive a person that has hurt you deeply in the past? Do share your knowledge and experience in the comments below.
Share as much detail as you can. Many lovely souls come here for insight and inspiration. Your story may be just what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough.
I really hope this helps. I hope you've come to see that there is no benefits to your life by holding on to anger and pain, neither does it undo the pain. What matters the most is your happiness and only by choosing happiness can you close past wounds and truly move on 😘
Thank you so much for watching, sharing, and adding your thoughts.
Live strong, and have the courage to create a life you love because your happiness matters.
With SO much 💖,
P.S. Have a question you’d love to ask me? Do give me your Q on my page Ask Trish Anything and I'll personally get back to you with some empowering steps to help guide you through your challenges. I look forward to serve and help you towards a brighter future, a future you've always dreamt of. Do give me your Q here.
Knowing when to ask for help and guidance is not weakness. If anything, it's a strength.
P.P.S. **BOOKS I RECOMMEND TO HELP YOU LIVE A MINDFUL, THANKFUL, AND HAPPY LIFE**
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