No matter how successful you are in life and business, success doesn’t give you immunity from humanity. We all have days where we don’t want to get out of bed. But…what happens when this feeling lasts for days or weeks or months? What happens when we feel like we’ve lost purpose and we just want to give up, whether on a career or relationship?
Over the last 10 years, through creating multiple companies to now working with business owners, I’ve identified the 3 things you need to do when you feel like giving up. Learn them now ⬇️
THE DREADED "LEARNED HELPLESSNESS"
If you feel like giving up easily, then what you might be experiencing is a human behavior called "learned helplessness".
Learned helplessness was discovered through some well-known laboratory experiments that you might have learned about in a Psychology 101 class. Those experiments were conducted using methods that likely would horrify any reasonable member of an institutional review board today.
Although it has been about 50 years since learned helplessness became a well-understood psychological theory, it still looms large in the field.
WHAT IS LEARNED HELPLESSNESS?
Learned helplessness is a phenomenon observed in both humans and other animals when they have been conditioned to expect pain, suffering, or discomfort without a way to escape it. Eventually, after enough conditioning, the animal will stop trying to avoid the pain at all—even if there is an opportunity to truly escape it.
When humans or other animals start to understand (or believe) that they have no control over what happens to them, they begin to think, feel, and act as if they are helpless.
This phenomenon is called learned helplessness because it is not an innate trait. No one is born believing that they have no control over what happens to them and that it is fruitless even to try gaining control. It is a learned behavior, conditioned through experiences in which the subject either truly has no control over his circumstances or simply perceives that he has no control.
The initial experiments that formed the basis for this theory were conducted in the late 1960s and early 1970s by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier.
For this experiment, the dogs were placed in a box with two chambers divided by a low barrier. One chamber had an electrified floor and the other was not.
When the researchers placed dogs in the box and turned on the electrified floor, they noticed a strange thing: Some dogs didn’t even attempt to jump over the low barrier to the other side.
Interestingly, the dogs who didn’t attempt to jump the barrier were generally the dogs who had previously been given shocks with no way to escape them, and the dogs who jumped the barrier tended to be those who had not received such treatment before.
Am I doomed for giving up all the time then?!
No. Definitely not. The good news is, learned helplessness can be overcome using the following 3 tips:
#1 REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR "WHY"
Remind yourself “why” you even started in the first place.
Why is your goal important to you?
Why does it matter?
How will it positively impact your life?
Important note to take away here... If after digging deep and knowing your why, and you still opt to give up, then maybe, you have to be brutally honest with yourself that perhaps the goal you thought you wanted, wasn’t actually something you really wanted, and that is OKAY.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Just take time to reassess your thoughts, set a new goal, and start working on them!
#2 DON'T ACCEPT YOUR HELPLESSNESS
Life can throw challenges at you, but you can choose to accept it as your fate or reject it.
Choose to reject the roadblocks that come your way. Learn how to climb over and conquer them instead. Take each challenge as the Universe teaching you new experiences, a new perspective to perfect your skills to become the best version of yourself that you can be!
#3 GET INSPIRED
Whether it’s scrolling through a social media account you follow that inspires you, or looking at inspiring quotes printed out on wallpaper or merchandise (such as my very own personalized merchandise: Cups, tote bags, pillows, and so much more), going to a scenic place that showers you with inspiration or calling up a friend that always has your back.
Whatever it is that makes you tick, do it! And do more of it.
Once you’ve watched or read through this article, I’d love to hear from you.
In what challenging moments does the feeling of quitting overwhelms you? What are the strategies you've tried to help you overcome that dark moment? Do share your knowledge and experience in the comments below.
Share as much detail as you can. Many lovely souls come here for insight and inspiration. Your story may be just what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough.
I really hope this article has helped you to realize that you can break free from this feeling of giving up because nothing is working as smoothly or as quickly as you'd like it to be. Please don't give up now. Your goal is just around the corner my friend!
Thank you so much for watching, sharing, and adding your thoughts.
Live strong, and have the courage to create a life you love because your happiness matters.
With SO much 💖,
P.S. Have a question you’d love to ask me? Do give me your Q on my page Ask Trish Anything and I'll personally get back to you with some empowering steps to help guide you through your challenges. I look forward to serve and help you towards a brighter future, a future you've always dreamt of. Do give me your Q here.
Knowing when to ask for help and guidance is not weakness. If anything, it's a strength.