It’s not hard to understand the fear of being alone: the empty apartment after work, the eerieness of Sunday afternoons, the sense of exclusion during the holidays… We know the agonies of being on our own very well.
Some of the top reasons my clients shared with me about their life experiences that lead them to this fear could be:
they were abandoned when they were young. Thus, they associate being alone as unloved
they suffer from low self-confidence
think they are not worthy of love and that they’re not capable of making their lives better in any way
simply don't feel comfortable being alone because they've never learned how to enjoy doing anything on their own
Whatever the reasons are, you don't have to suffer with this fear anymore.
I personally understand how depressing it can feel to have this fear because I used to live with it - for years. This was due to me having low self-confidence. I thought no one would ever love me and I would die alone with 9 black cats.
The good news is, through my journey of breaking free from the fear of loneliness, I've come to learn these 4 important tips which I'll be sharing with you in today's episode ⬇️
#1 A RELATIONSHIP IS A "NICE TO HAVE", NOT A "MUST HAVE"
Through my darkest hours, self-reflection always helped me a lot. It helped me to open my mind to gain clarity and to realize how strong I really way.
Here's what I came to discover...
I was fine before I had a relationship.
I was fine during the relationship.
I was fine and live after it ended.
What does this tell me?
This tells me that with or without a relationship, I am fine. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, to be happy, and enjoy life.
A relationship is like an added bonus to your already magnificent life.
Don't seek a relationship and think that only when you are in a relationship will you then be happy and fulfilled.
No, it doesn't work like that.
Be happy to just be. To live. To breathe. To travel. To laugh.
Don't forget that you have family, friends, colleagues, neighbors. So many people to connect with to enrich your life.
With or without a relationship, you are fine and you will be fine. Don't scare yourself into thinking you must have a relationship because all you are doing is telling yourself to just take any tom, dick, and harry that comes your way - regardless if they treat you right or not.
#2 EMBRACE LONELINESS
Being alone can be depressing, but the truth is (not intending to brag), on the other spectrum, having too many friends and guys wanting your time and attention all the time can drive you really nuts!
Having your phone constantly ring or bing from messages and emails.
People constantly asking you out to meet them.
With everyone demanding time from you, where would there be any time left for yourself?
I've been on both ends before and it was horrible. In the end, finding that balance is really key.
Perhaps the best question you need to ask yourself very very honestly is this:
What is really so wrong about being alone?
Once you can answer that with honesty, you'll have the answer on how to work on eliminating that feeling.
If it's because you lack confidence, then work on that.
If it's because you have a negative mindset scaring you into thinking you are unloved, then engage a good certified Life Coach that can help you to change your mindset into a more positive, self-loving, and self-accepting one.
Whatever you choose, please don't choose to suffer in silence until the end of your life.
#3 GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE
Facebook is not the answer. Neither is spending hours and hours on any other social media platform.
Go out and have physical contact with real people and have deep, meaningful, and enriching conversations.
Join groups, clubs, societies and either fuel your passion, hobbies or take the chance to learn a new skill.
Meeting new people who have the same interest as you and starting a conversation with them will then become easy-peasy.
‘No man is an island, entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent’.
Human contact is essential to surviving in this world. Instead of wallowing in boredom and sadness, you need to get out as much as possible and seek contacts.
Being a member of a group, however tenuous, is a great way. So when you are in the gym, at church or simply at a club meeting, exploit these contacts to enlarge your social circle.
There is no point in staying at home all the time. You will not meet any new people there!
#4 GIVE OTHERS YOUR HELPING HAND
Rather than get caught up feeling the fear of being alone and unwanted, shift that focus instead and ask yourself:
How can you use your time here on Earth to help others?
Helping others helps you realize how much joy you are capable of giving others and that in return will automatically give you joy to know just how much you are appreciated, needed, and loved in this world.
Plus! Helping others gives you a chance to socialize and make friends :)
Once you’ve watched or read through this article, I’d love to hear from you.
What lead you to have this fear of loneliness? What strategies have you tried that has helped you break free from this fear? Do share your knowledge and experience in the comments below.
Share as much detail as you can. Many lovely souls come here for insight and inspiration. Your story may be just what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough.
I really hope today's article helps you build a little self-confidence within yourself and to understand that there is nothing to fear. You don't have to live with this fear anymore as long as you are willing to step up to take the necessary steps to overcome it 😘
Thank you so much for watching, sharing, and adding your thoughts.
Live strong, and have the courage to create a life you love because your happiness matters.
With SO much 💖,
P.S. Don't miss out on my Valentine's gift for you!
A beautiful self-love planner to support your self-love and self-acceptance journey towards a brighter, loving tomorrow for yourself ❤️
Use code "SELFLOVE" upon checkout to get this planner for free now!
Offer valid from 06.02.2020 until 18.02.2020.
P.P.S. Have a question you’d love to ask me? Do give me your Q on my page Ask Trish Anything and I'll personally get back to you with some empowering steps to help guide you through your challenges. I look forward to serve and help you towards a brighter future, a future you've always dreamt of. Do give me your Q here.
Knowing when to ask for help and guidance is not weakness. If anything, it's a strength.