To celebrate International Women's day a few days ago, I'd like to dedicate today's episode to all the wonderful, pretty mamas around the world.
You deserve to feel beautiful.
You deserve to feel strong.
You deserve to feel useless, capable, independent and intelligent.
Because you ARE! ❤️
Mamas, if your self-confidence took a bad hit because of your pregnancy, then read on.
THE "DARK" SIDE OF PREGNANCY
The thought of getting pregnant, having a baby, starting a family with the man you love sounds like a dream. But what comes along with this beautiful dream, is also a "dark" side that many of us women don't actually realize its impact on our mental well-being - us losing our self-confidence and how our lives take a 180 degrees turn after the arrival of our baby.
I didn't know how badly my self-confidence and self-esteem would be hit. It was only after I gave birth that I realized how naive I was. I wasn't ready for the change that was to come.
I felt useless.
I was suffering from PPD (Postpartum depression) for a good 7 months or so after giving birth.
If you're experiencing PPD or you're not feeling like your usual self after giving birth, do watch today's episode. I'll be sharing with you the 7 tips that helped me get through one of the darkest times in my life and how I regained my self-confidence.
#1 PAY FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT
If you're like me and you have no family or friends around you to take your baby off your hands even for an hour a day or a few times a week, then please budget for a nanny.
You don't have to fork out a whole lot of money. Just hire nannies who are within your budget.
Why should I get a nanny?
Simply because doing so will give you the quality time to do the things that you like, spend time with friends, or even catch up on much-needed sleep!
This small investment is definitely a worthy investment to budget for if you care enough about your own sanity and happiness.
#2 EAT AND SLEEP WELL
Don't underestimate the importance of eating and sleeping well. Doing so will only screw with your mind and make you snack on junk food to keep you going whenever you are sleep deprived.
WORD OF CAUTION: Some people or books say you need to eat more while breastfeeding. While this may be true, please don't go overboard and eat for two. Eat a little more than you normally would, but not overdo it. If you do, that's why your pregnancy weight can't shed off properly or as quickly as you'd like it to.
Because your baby is needier during the first 1-2 years, try to take a nap with your baby as they nap to recharge your energy. Don't be too obsessed with keeping the house squeky clean or trying to do any other work. Your sleep is golden!
A well rested mama is a happy mama.
Sleep when you can my dears - You're gonna need it!
#3 EAT AND SLEEP TRAINING FOR BABIES
I didn't hear of this concept all my life. Not until I felt like I hit rock bottom from extreme exhaustion.
Eat and sleep training for babies is not "army style" nor is it wrong.
Being first-time parents, my husband and I didn't know babies needed so much sleep in their first year. We took our baby out in the mornings, thinking she needed some fresh air and sunlight, which caused her to be over exhausted, which caused her mood to be bad, refusing to sleep properly at night, which drove me nuts, and the vicious just went on and on.
It wasn't until we implemented an eat and sleep training program for our baby that our worlds changed for the better.
Once our baby had a fixed daily routine, we then regained some structure and routine in our life to do the things we love or to simply spend quality time together.
We could plan for date nights, plan for time with friends, to clean the house, etc. It was a TOTAL game changer for us.
#4 GET ACTIVE
Part of the reason why my self-confidence took a hit was because I gained about 12kgs due to my pregnancy. I thought that most of the weight might shed off after pregnancy but I was so wrong.
I hit an all-time high of 72kgs while I was 9 months pregnant (I admit, I snacked a lot!). Then after I delivered, I was still at a whooping 68kgs. Wow!
I thought to myself, "How is that even possible?? I thought the baby is out of my body already? Shouldn't the weight just disappear along with the delivery?"
Oh, the lies we tell ourselves sometimes...
Mamas, you don't need to do strenuous exercises or any of that sort if your goal is to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Even if it is just going for walks or mild yoga or doing the housework. Just get up and get moving. Pump fresh blood into your body.
Every little bit of active movement you can get in a day, helps to shed any excess weight you might have put on during pregnancy.
But let me emphasize that you need to be realistic and patient with yourself. Instant results don't happen and they don't last!
After giving my body time, doing daily house chores, getting active, taking care of the baby, etc, I successfully got back to my pre-pregnancy weight within about 11 months after delivery!
In fact, I was able to hit 57kgs, 3kgs below my pre-pregnancy weight just by doing small steps every day to stay active.
"Exercise not only changes your body, it changes your mind, your attitude and your mood."
- Unknown author
#5 TAKE TIME TO DRESS UP
Put on makeup, wear your dancing shoes, dress up and go out for a nice movie, shopping, a nice coffee with a friend or a date with your husband!
Even if it just going grocery shopping, why not? Any reason is a good reason to dress up! When you look good, you feel happy when you see yourself in the mirror and that in return will feed your body and soul good vibes and energy.
Remind yourself of your inner beauty queen. It's ok if you need to spend a little on new clothes that flatter your new body shape.
Your body may not be the same as before you got pregnant, but it doesn't mean you are any less beautiful. It simply means your body has evolved to be a different kind of beautiful.
#6 MAKE TIME FOR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES
You are a human, and humans need companionship. They need to talk and smile and do adult things to feel like functioning adults.
Though baby talk is cute, but anyone of does it 24/7 hours a day, 7 days a week will go nuts.
Please do yourself a favor, schedule in time for friends, family, and above all - date nights! Time for your hubby is just as important as time for yourself.
Even if you can't make a weekly affair, try to do it at least once a month. It will do wonders for your heart, your mind, and your relationship.
#7 THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Not trying to sound cliche, but it will.
Know that things WILL change and will get better over time as you start to master the skills needed for motherhood.
Your baby also needs time to learn about this world and how to be independent, a little by little, day by day.
Just as your body needed about 9 months to give birth to a lovely baby, your body also needs time to recover and for you to feel like yourself again.
The most important point not to forget is, remember to thank your amazing body for giving you the ability to give birth to a new life!
YOU ARE AMAZING MAMA.
Here's a daily affirmation I'd like to share with you:
Once you’ve watched and read through this article, I’d love to hear from you.
In what ways has pregnancy impacted your self-confidence? What are the strategies that you've tried to help yourself regain confidence? Do share your knowledge and experience in the comments below.
Share as much detail as you can. Many lovely souls come here for insight and inspiration. Your story may be just what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough.
I really hope these tips shared today helps you rediscover your inner beauty and to build back your confidence muscle because you have nothing to be ashamed of but SO MUCH to be proud of my dears!
Thank you so much for watching, sharing, and adding your thoughts.
Live strong, and have the courage to create a life you love because your happiness matters.
Sending lots of joy and inner courage,
P.S. Have a question you’d love to ask me? Do give me your Q on my page Ask Trish Anything and I'll personally get back to you with some empowering steps to help guide you through your challenges. I look forward to serve and help you towards a brighter future, a future you've always dreamt of. Do give me your Q here.
Knowing when to ask for help and guidance is not weakness. If anything, it's a strength.