Why you feel like an outsider and how to cope with being "different"

I was never the most likeable or the prettiest girl growing up, I was taller than most girls my age, had a different skin colour, a "weird" name in Chinese standards, looked "different", just basically everything about me was not "normal".


I was a social outcast.


To my surprise, I've come to learn that there are many people who feel the way that I did. They simply could never fit into society, always feeling as if there should be more to life.


If you know what I'm talking about and have always wondered why you feel like an outsider, then do check out today's episode:



First things first, let's talk about why you feel the way that you do.


WHY YOU FEEL THE WAY THAT YOU DO


1) Trauma


You might have experienced trauma in some way or another, be it physical or emotional trauma. This causes you to have possible symptoms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and therefore feel isolated from everyone else.


2) Bullies


Maybe you've been badly bullied before because of people's inability to accept different cultures, maybe about your looks, skin colour, and so on. This causes you to alienate yourself from others.


3) No one gets you


Maybe you simply felt like no one could ever really understand you. You've always felt different from everyone else. Therefore, you just think to yourself, "heck, I might as well don't connect with people, since they don't understand me anyway."


Whatever the reason that caused you to feel "different" from others, let me assure you that there is nothing wrong with you. What you have my dear friend, is an 'awakened soul'.


What is an awakened soul?


Everyone has a soul, but everyone has different levels of soulful maturity.


When I was very young, around the age of 12, adults would usually comment that I spoke very maturely for a person my age. Back then I thought that was just a kind compliment. But now I understand that I was indeed more matured than other kids my age.


Why?


It was because of the domestic trauma I experienced at home and the harsh racist criticisms I faced at school.


Despite feeling like a total outcast, on hindsight, I've come to realize there are actually benefits to being an outsider.


BENEFITS OF BEING AN OUTSIDER


Here are the top 5 benefits of being an outsider:

  1. You'll be able to see past the pretensions of people.

  2. You're able to look beyond our daily rat-race life and understand that there is more than meets the eye.

  3. Instead of unquestionably accepting what society has taught you, you stay inquisitive and are a freethinker.

  4. You have the ability to have deeper, meaningful connections with people.

  5. You have the ability to observe others, which gives you a greater capacity for wisdom and compassion.


HOW TO COPE WITH PEOPLE MAKING YOU FEEL STRANGE


As much as it is beautiful to have an awakened soul, I'm not gonna deny that society can be hard toward people or things that seem "different". Many people tend to reject and criticise what they don't understand or anything that is not aligned with their values and beliefs - whether they realize it or not.


Whenever you are faced with people who try to condemn you, I'd like you to ask yourself these 3 questions:


1) ARE YOU GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER?


If shallow-minded people try to put you down, do you let them get to you? Do you get angry and try to defend your worth?


If someone tries to bring you down, try to either brush them off, tell them to get a life, or if you are brave enough - laugh with them.


Why?


Because when you laugh with them, you dissolve them of their power. Their purpose of humiliating you and making you feel small is to make themselves feel superior. When you laugh back at them and say you feel sorry for them because they don't have other better things to do in life than to make other people's lives miserable, they will realize that their words have zero power over you.


No one defines your worth. Not a crown. Not someone's comments. Not your wealth. Your inner being - your soul, moral values, and your actions. Those are the things that defines you and makes you beautiful, a person worthy of love, fulfilment, and happiness.


So don't give them what they want. Step aside and cry or gather your emotions if you must, but don't let them see you down or let them feel like they've got a hold over you.



2) DO YOU LOOK AT LIFE THROUGH A MICROSCOPE OR A TELESCOPE?


Life is truly a journey. You'll experience different chapters in your life as you move on in life. In each chapter, you'll meet new people, old friends will leave, some may stay, your colleagues will be different, and you may even live in different cities.


If you look at life through a microscope, you're gonna feel miserable. True, it's good to live in the moment and practice mindfulness, but it's not the same as thinking that when life is bad now, it's etched in stone, and that's how it's gonna be forever.


No it's not true.


The day I learned to tell myself, "I know I won't be in school forever or in the same job or same city forever. The world is my oyster and I'm gonna make the rest of my life, which is yet to be written, a great one."


Nothing ever stays as it is, change is truly the only constant.


So take a step back and start looking at life through a telescope. Discover how much you can take control over your life today if you simply change the way you viewed life.



3) TOWARD WHOM ARE YOU DIRECTING ENERGY TO?


Towards someone else or onto yourself?


The more you are jealous of someone, angry or feel spiteful, the more you are directing precious energy and focus onto someone else - someone you probably don't even like!


And why do that?? Think about it.


Isn't it better to focus on yourself. Reflect on what are the skills or qualities you would like to have, then start working on those points to improve yourself. You have the ability, the power to start right now to shape yourself to become the person you want to be - the best version of yourself.


And that can only be done, if you invest the necessary energy and time onto yourself.



After you've watched today's episode, I'd love to hear from you, What is the first thing you can do right now to take back your power, own who you are, and be the extraordinary person you were meant to be? Do share with me in the comments below.


I really hope these tips helped you to understand that it is ok to be different. As an outsider, you can beat yourself up over it or you can become stronger for it. Also, I hope you've come to see the importance of practicing more self-love and self-acceptance. And lastly, remember to focus your precious energy onto yourself to make your life great because you deserve to be happy!


Thank you so much for your watching, sharing, and adding your thoughts.


Live strong, and have the courage to create a life you love because your happiness matters.



With SO much 💖,

XO




P.S. Have a question you’d love to ask me? Do give me your Q on my page Ask Trish Anything and I'll personally get back to you with some empowering steps to help guide you through your challenges. I look forward to serve and help you towards a brighter future, a future you've always dreamt of. Do give me your Q here.

Knowing when to ask for help and guidance is not weakness. If anything, it's a strength.







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